Midaq Alley by Naguid Mahfouz

"With all those who reach his state of confusion and promiscuity, prudence and intuition are likely to vanish"

"Hussainy was astonished at his insolent stubbornness and asked weakly, "Doesn't your lust for this filthy conduct make you ashamed?"

All About My Mother by Pedro Almodovar

"Women will do anything to avoid being alone"

The Driver's Seat by Muriel Spark

"most of the time, afterwards is pretty sad" - women who casually sleep around fear this 'afterwards' the most; the sense of emptiness that cannot be filled.

Disgrace by J.M. Coetzee

"if I was you I'd be very ashamed of myself"

"Am I allowed to tell you how stupid it looks? ... I will anyway. Stupid, and ugly too. I don't know what you do about sex and I don't want to know, but this is not the way to go about it."

"That is what whores are for, after all: to put up with the ecstasies of the unlovely."

'An inglorious end to your career, don't you think? I won't ask if what you got from this girl was worth the price.'

'...it's all very demeaning. Really.'

`...The whole thing is disgraceful from beginning to end. Disgraceful and vulgar too.'

struggling between disgust and being kind

"[A] major theme of [Morrison's] novels is the need for balance or wholeness. These qualities may be acquired by the characters in the novels only through an act that is analogous to one involved in the creation of art-an act of the imagination which comes from a willingness to see the world as others see it" (229).

As Tirrell concludes, "Without at least a minimally articulated notion of one's place in the community, one cannot be a moral agent" (124)

the importance of perception-"the ability to
discern, acutely and responsively, the salient features of one's particular situation"

"Moral knowledge ... is not simply intellectual grasp of propositions; it is not even simply intellectual grasp of particular facts; it is perception. It is seeing a complex, concrete reality in a highly lucid and richly responsive way; it is taking in what is there, with imagination and [intuitive, I might add] feeling" (152).

"Weekdays for you and weekends for him." (Polotan 179)

"'the dirtiest deal possible, Lourdes,' Red was saying, 'to be used by someone's unhappy wife'" (Polotan 187)

"The punishing flesh, the paroxysms, the engulfing pleasure that ended in long excruciating sobs - 'Leave all that alone, Red,' she said now, let love go when it must, Lourdes thought, but stay the mutilation" (Polotan 189)

"is put in the perverse position of acting as the object of the jouissance of the Other. One is overcome with guilt and fear for what one takes as one's responsibility for a wrong one knows oneself's committed but doesn’t comprehend. One's desire becomes immersed in an overwhelming, persecutory jouissance, marked by a “sticky-sweet, vomity”
sensation, the signifier of one's seducer’s obscene enjoyment."

"the Other’s demand/desire determines the answer of the object and thereby deprives one of response and protection...complicity with the Other, as a child, causes one's rejection of speech as an adult, leaving one in an impossible conflict between mute
guilt and rebellion against the law. One's forced choice of a choice the Other has already made for oneself deprives one of choice, of freedom, and makes one an unwilling active participant in the injustice"

"choking disgust. There was nothing lower she could do, nothing filthier" (113)

then

"Mr. Finley sat on his porch sucking chicken bones, as he had done for thirteen years, looked up, saw Sula, choked on a bone and died on the spot" (114) - LOL...

"About who was good. How you know it was you? I mean maybe it wasn't you. Maybe it was me." (146)

"Thinking how much I have cost her and never remember the days when we were two throats and one eye and we had no price" (147)

nothing is so strong as true gentleness, and nothing is so gentle as true strength

"It's easier to see hurtful words and actions as evidence of inherent character flaws than as results of emotional turmoil and upheaval. People always find it very difficult to believe that anyone can feel more intense feelings than themselves. Self-centered? Everyone's self-centered. Just a difference of who admits it to themselves and whether they do it in all situations; and difference in the willingness to curb such instincts. Some people thrive on pointing out how selfishly others have treated them, and fail to see their own self-centered desires to receive selfless gifts from others." - annonymous

Probably being pampered/cloistered results in one adopting the mentality that one can go scott free even after committing some terrible mistakes by not only adopting a goody exterior image, but also through tears and a whimpering voice. This is even more so because no one has really stood up and undone that person before. With constant sympathy, that misguidedness develops into a dogged insistence, or self-delusion, that one is always right, spurring a vengeful action that transfers the fault from one to the other.

People are not inherently bad, they are just affected by circumstances.
The day I embrace this quote totally is the day I forgive the other and move on.

It's amazing how human behaviour can be so similar across all sexes at certain points. It is the norm for another to feel embarrassed and fear that other people will think they're making the person (who's crying in front of them) cry, and hence appear to be unfeeling and pretend to not be involved in it. I bet at that very moment she was in my shoes, whether she realized it or not, and might soon understand a little of where I was coming from. It's a mixture of not knowing how to react, and disbelief at the state of the person in front of you; it's totally separate from loving or hating a person. Slowly, truths about human behaviour will be revealed. Realization will set in when the other does the very same thing that he/she has seen me do. It's interesting how we all want to avoid humiliation (from just about anyone, even strangers). It's interesting how we all pretend like we're not thinking/suffering when we actually are. It's interesting why we do the things we do sometimes, and think of another reason to back our actions or deny ourselves. It's interesting how we're all just... human.

I have to work hard. It ain't easy seeing someone you once loved and having to treat them only as a friend; it's only human to feel this way. Since she has made up her mind, I would like to work toward a stage where I can not only treat her like a friend, but also talk about the past with her without evoking an emotional storm. Forgive, and not forget her; forgive, and forget our mistakes.

I cried so hard when I read this story. Turn off the music, it'll interfere with your absorption of content:

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. (I wish I could ask for a month's normal life before we parted as well)

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully. (at this point I thought to myself: outsiders really know/feel nothing.)

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside
the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. The small moments of happiness and the little meaningful times are what keep people together till the end. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

This meaningful quote was one of my friend's msn nick: love is friendship set on fire.

The missing thing has to be a certain event that SPARKS off the chemistry. Lol just some crap I thought about when I saw the nick. Nite nite!

New nice song by eminem, though his lyrics are a tad aggressive. It is however, balanced out by Rihanna's lovely chorus.

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

I can't tell you what it really is
I can only tell you what it feels like
And right now there's a steel knife
In my windpipe
I can't breathe
But I still fight
While I can fight
As long as the wrong feels right
It's like I'm in flight
High of a love
Drunk from the hate
It's like I'm huffing paint
And I love it the more that I suffer
I suffocate
And right before im about to drown
She resuscitates me
She fucking hates me
And I love it
Wait
Where you going
I'm leaving you
No you ain't
Come back
We're running right back
Here we go again
It's so insane
Cause when it's going good
It's going great
I'm Superman
With the wind in his bag
She's Lois Lane
But when it's bad
It's awful
I feel so ashamed
I snap
Who's that dude
I don't even know his name
I laid hands on her
I'll never stoop so low again
I guess I don't know my own strength

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

You ever love somebody so much
You can barely breathe
When you're with them
You meet
And neither one of you
Even know what hit 'em
Got that warm fuzzy feeling
Yeah them chills
Used to get 'em
Now you're getting fucking sick
Of looking at 'em
You swore you've never hit 'em
Never do nothing to hurt 'em
Now you're in each other's face
Spewing venom
And these words
When you spit 'em
You push
Pull each other's hair
Scratch, claw, bit 'em
Throw 'em down
Pin 'em
So lost in the moments
When you're in 'em
It's the rage that took over
It controls you both
So they say it's best
To go your separate ways
Guess that they don't know ya
Cause today
That was yesterday
Yesterday is over
It's a different day
Sound like broken records
Playin' over
But you promised her
Next time you'll show restraint
You don't get another chance
Life is no Nintendo game
But you lied again
Now you get to watch her leave
Out the window
Guess that's why they call it window pane(pain)

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

Now I know we said things
Did things
That we didn't mean
And we fall back
Into the same patterns
Same routine
But your temper's just as bad
As mine is
You're the same as me
But when it comes to love
You're just as blinded
Baby please come back
It wasn't you
Baby it was me
Maybe our relationship
Isn't as crazy as it seems
Maybe that's what happens
When a tornado meets a volcano
All I know is
I love you too much
To walk away though
Come inside
Pick up your bags off the sidewalk
Don't you hear sincerity
In my voice when I talk
Told you this is my fault
Look me in the eyeball
Next time I'm pissed
I'll aim my fist
At the dry wall
Next time
There will be no next time
I apologize
Even though I know it's lies
I'm tired of the games
I just want her back
I know I'm a liar
If she ever tries to fucking leave again
I'mma tie her to the bed
And set the house on fire

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

Dearest Reader,

Megabats constitute the suborder Megachiroptera, family Pteropodidae of the order Chiroptera (bats). They are also called fruit bats, old world fruit bats, or flying foxes.

The megabat, contrary to its name, is not always large: the smallest species is 6 centimeters (2.4 inches) long and thus smaller than some microbats. The largest reach 40 cm (16 inches) in length and attain a wingspan of 150 cm (5 feet), weighing in at nearly 1 kg (2.2 pounds). Most fruit bats have large eyes, allowing them to orient visually in the twilight of dusk and inside caves and forests.

Their sense of smell is excellent. In contrast to the microbats, the fruit bats do not, as a rule, use echolocation (with one exception, the Egyptian fruit bat Rousettus egyptiacus, which uses high-pitched clicks to navigate in caves).

Lol this is interesting! I never knew there's such things called MEGABAT and microbat.
Listening to a youtube vid that she sent, I shall attempt to describe the feeling/emotion accompanying the music. Though the title is Dance of Death, I doubt the idea to be conveyed is a dismal one. In fact, it's supposed to be tantalizing (almost hide and seek+waltz like, aka tom and jerry), dangerous, intriguing, with a touch of mischievous hesitation, exactly what a personification of death would be like. There is a little hint of never-ending chaos and toil as with death scrambling to catch a target. The other emotions I get can be expressed via these words: quirky, fidgety, impish optimism, especially with the clicky beats that almost sound like cwab pincers clippin with an evil, cheeky grin! There is also temptation, and sudden surges of grandeur (almost as if the chase escalates) as the music rises sharply at certain points, then falls back to subtle, subdued hesitation, waiting to pounce. Also, the initial feeling of grandeur and succession is quickly overriden by the comical image of skeletons dancing about flashing cheeky grins with no teeth and clicking their bones together. The overall feel I get is not so much creepiness as of an intriguing optimism on a meaningful(to know death and accept it is to be enlightened), impishly magical journey/chase. It's almost as if death is trying to catch a cheeky person fluttering away from it, and at the end we get a sad, soft tune that almost hints at death's succession. However, the last few seconds give a cheeky twist to the sadness, almost as if death hasn't won yet, or that death isn't such a bad thing after all, or that things are not over yet and it's to be continued, like in movies. I'm sure there's more to it, but at 3.10am with a headache, I don't feel like interpreting further.

With Love,
Megabat

"I honestly wonder, how do you even live with your hypocritical self and fall asleep at night? How do you convince yourself that despite all the shit that you do, you are in the right?"
Angsty person on facebook, yet what the person says has some truth in it. Gotta love the little truisms that pop up now and then.

Almost no one gives good advice anymore, because to give good advice is to be unfeeling and impartial. Being biased hinders the truth and denies good advice. I know when someone is just trying to make me feel better, because it doesn't represent what is right or wrong. After awhile we fall back on our own feelings, and some might wake up; some will stubbornly continue to be oblivious.

Inception was awesome! The director thought big, but left some gaps (intentionally?) for the audience to fill in on their own. The pace was fast and the conversation was fraught with rapid intellectual exchange. To fully decipher it would require a second watching, but I'm not so keen. My friend introduced me to two romance movies: PS I Love You, and Love Me If You Dare. Gonna watch them soon!

Inception made me cry. Mal and Leo's relationship was so sad. She mentioned that he had a dream about marrying her. However, dreams weren't enough for him, and the impactful sentence "You're just not good enough" hit me. He couldn't let her go, and his projection of her equally wanted him back dearly. In certain aspects, all this seemed very close at heart, and it was just so touching! I wanted to see more of him and Mal, however the movie had to focus on other areas as well. Man, this sure gives me ideas... a whole new movie could just be made based on Mal and Leo's relationship!

Came across an old lady selling random stuffs on the roadside at orchard at 10.30pm, an absurd timing. There was even Maggie Mee. There were some lame bags for sale, of which cost $26 each(totally not worth that much)!! What's more, each packet of tissue cost $2. While the assortment of stuffs she had clearly showed she was either one of the higher-grade beggars, or someone who just wanted to earn a living at an old age, the exorbitant prices didn't seem to match up with the heinous look she gave us when we reconfirmed if ONE PACKET of tissue was $2. We thought it meant a whole stack of 5 tissue packets! The old lady's look was clearly that of "You trying to expose me is it? As if I don't know it is over priced. Stop asking and just buy it lah." A look of guilt mixed with desperate selfishness. I've seen much more sincere beggars who offer to sell 2-5 tissue packets for $1, and even thank you after that. This old lady never even said a word of thanks, and was even slyly coaxing us to buy her bags. Do not be mistaken, this has nothing to do with money; it boils down to the behaviour of the old lady. Respect, as well as trust, is earned by proper etiquette/behaviour. That beggar didn't earn my respect, and never will. When we parted, she asked me to sms her when I reached home. I didn't expect that and was so touched.

She said she slept hugging rolly last night! I smiled with a warm feeling. It seems like it was only yesterday that I gave that stuff-toy to her. I loved that stuff-toy very much - it was so cute! It reminds me of HL104's "I Love To You" by Laura Mulvey(?) or someone else I forgot. I'm about to sleep soon with the piyo beside me as usual too!

Lovely song I came across:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=imoxccKh_HY

People have varied perceptions toward the art of love making. I may sound biased, but science-people tend to view it from the biological perspective. They will go about telling you how the sword enters the sheath in logical, scientific terms gotten from textbooks. They will tell you that there is only the orgasm and nothing else. They will consider it a bolster to their manhood/manliness if they've slept with a girl before. This is where refinement separates the superficial, narrow-minded people from the spiritual and intuitive ones.

The reason I even use the word making love is due to the utter sacredness and spirituality the term entails. Yes, I may crack dirty jokes, but when doing it with someone I love, I consider it the ultimate form of connecting two people spiritually. With eyes closed (forgive me if it gets a bit graphic/cheesy), one transcends the physical pleasure, moving into the spiritual realm of being whole/one with the other. The true art of love making will result in one calling out the other's name, embracing the entirety of the other person in one's mind, escalating to new heights together as one.

We always say making love 'TO' someone. We say having sex 'WITH' someone. When you make love to another person, you want to transfer the love you feel to another, because you cannot contain it any longer(yes yes I know what 'cannot hold it any longer' entails lah -.-). You want to share and make the other feel what you feel. Passion. Making love to someone is showing someone how one feels about him/her or appreciates him/her. Making love TO someone is about pleasing him/her first before anything else. Selflessness balanced with selfishness presents us with a give and take scenario, where things come naturally and neither wants purely to satisfy his/her carnal desires.

Don't ask me how I even got inspired to write this post LOL; all I can say is that the first paragraph has major contribution to my inspiration. Porn and whatever has long been something sordid and meaningless to me. It disgusts me to want to watch something sacred about another without knowing/loving that other person (of course I'm not disgusted by people who watch porn la. It's ok to be curious, or if they just purely want some stimulation to aid them in satisfying their desires. I'm just saying that I'm desensitized to such stuff.) Perhaps that's why I can remain loyal to the one I love, because if you even ask me to talk to random strangers or people from another country in an affectionate manner, I will feel very awkward. If people can say 'yea right' to this post, it means they don't really know me. I don't care what people think of me/bitch about me. As long as I know I have done nothing wrong or have not initiated anything wrong or unfair, I will have no regrets.

Some people have an intense want to show that they know a lot. Some people have a need to say everything that's on their minds. What I feel is that knowledge can be attained by anyone. Wisdom however is something that is either yours, or it isn't. Do I call myself an introvert? I've come to see that talking doesn't really do the trick. Words often don't get to people who are stubborn, people who are too caught up in fact and logic, people who are so full of themselves, or people in self-denial. Words hurt unintentionally, can be misunderstood. Some people call my style of living superficial. To even address that as superficial IS being superficial. You think I've not come across logic? I've seen it and let me tell you there's nothing special about it. There's no need to be proud of being a logical person, only if you once lacked the logical faculty that much. To live life my way is to be simple, to be subdued, and to take things as they come. I don't request a lot, and I'm happy with what I have. I'm aware however of my inability to be blinded by love, and that sucks. And you come and question me about what's wrong with logic? I was too logical in the past. It brought nothing but unintentional harm to others. I can say I'm turned off by human behaviour, including my own.

Some say that if you don't knock cow sense into people, they won't wake up and realize their mistakes. I prefer from now on to let them realize it on their own. I choose to believe that somewhere in the later part of their lives they will realize it, but you tell me they won't. I cannot disagree; some people just lack that special thing called intuition. It doesn't mean if I don't talk much that I have nothing to say. It just means that I find no point in talking at times, because words ain't enough.

Meaningful quote my friend shared with me:
"Either selfishness or selflessness will destroy a person. If a soul is too selfish, thinking only of personal ends and desires, and should one live long enough, none will support him/her and many will try to tear him/her down. To survive, one must become so strong and so heartless that neither love nor affection could or would desire to reach such a person. And in the end, such a being is no longer a person, but a soulless machine.

A person who is too selfless is blown hither and yon in the gusts of others' needs, for there are always more needs than even the most charitable of humans can adress. Should a person be strong enough to address the most worthy and pressing of needs, then he/she will either bleed to death from the demands upon him/her or lose all warmth in a mechanical quest to to fulfill the world's needs. Then he/she becomes so selfless that he/she, too, is no more than a selfish soul in the quest of selflessness.

Thus, a person who would live a meaninful life must always struggle between selfishness and selflessness, always questioning. When one gives up the struggle, one allows others to determine the meaning of one's life. One may not even be aware that one has relinquished the struggle, for those others may indeed represent a belief in something one finds better and higher, and one will follow their simple rules with great relief. They may be the rules of religions, races and ethnicities. Yet we observe that most humans who give up that struggle question why life has no meaning, especially when troubles befall them."

Blogging is a form of communication. Of course there are other mediums, like gmail, of which someone is on right at this time I'm typing this post. If I stop blogging one day, it can only mean a few things, of which I won't tell u! It's not hard to guess anyway. Tuition starts soon!

KFC cheesy meltz, cheese fries, whipped potato, coleslaw, 7UP, Flaming chilli chicken wings, and hazelnut ice cream after that for supper is damn imba!

time flies... I just did tuition last saturday and tmr I'm gona have to teach again O_O. Ridiculous... the past week's almost like a dream. Why time passes so fast?! gona school reopen soon...